The season is less than a week away, so it’s only appropriate to have Kansas City Royals Second Baseman, mistake-free Chris Getz, to once again answer you, the fans, questions. The only problem with that is we can’t find Getzie. Since Neddy Yost’s favorite player has gone MIA, we asked fellow second bagger Johnny Giavotella to step in and answer Getz’s questions for him. We’ll dip into the mailbag and find out how the Royals look and feel headed into the season in the words of one Johnny Giavotella (or how I think he would answer). So time once again for Questions with Getzie  Johnny!

Getzie, congratulations on winning the second base job! -Bob, Excelsior Springs, MO

Oh, geez, THANKS  A LOT, BOB!! I’m sure Getzie just loves it, winning a job that was his no matter what. Maybe if Neddy had a mancrush on me I would have the job. Just think about it people; just what did Getzie do to win the job?? Sick Bastard.

Good job hitting a home run this spring, Chris! Should we expect a little bit of power this season?-Craig, Lawrence, KS

Are you serious?? I’m shocked he hit one this spring! Although, I’m sure he has been practicing that home run trot FOR YEARS NOW!! Good god, he hits one home run and you people drool all over him? I’ve actually hit a few in the majors; did anyone even notice???!!!!

Getzie, long time fan, first time writer. So Neddy stated you won the second base job because of your ability to bunt and steal bases. Do you feel that was an advantage for you over Gio?-Mike, Liberty, MO

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously people, just look at that picture! The great base stealer Getzie can’t even slide right! Don’t be fooled, Mike. We all know Neddy has a boner for Chris. Neddy also has a boner for bunting. Wake up, Neddy! It’s no longer 1982! We all know the only way I would win this job is if Chris didn’t show up and I hit like .400 this spring. Obviously, neither happened.

Chris, is there anything you are doing differently this spring to keep yourself injury free?-Rick, Olathe, KS

This is why I probably shouldn’t sweat being sent down. I mean, Getzie gets hurt all the time. He might be mistake-free, but he’s made of porcelain. One touch and he crumbles. It’s all that bunting. Glad I avoid doing that crap, although maybe Neddy would have dirty fantasies about me if I did. And I wouldn’t be in Omaha. Again. Please, Dayton, trade me!!!

Getzie, love the mailbag! My question is why do you think Johnny Giavotella has not been able to stick with the ballclub like you have?-David, Overland Park, KS

So Getzie can evaluate talent now? Look, folks, there are probably a lot of reasons why I haven’t been able to ‘stick’ with the club. Some of it is my fault, as I just haven’t hit the way I did in the minors. True fact. But I have improved my defense, and I feel like I really haven’t been given a fair shake. You can argue with that, but if you pay close enough attention you can tell I’m not given the same chances other guys have been given. So sure, part of this is on my shoulders. But I don’t think it all is.

Chris, Why don’t you have an official twitter account? I would love to follow you and hear your opinions on bunting and Neddy!-Clark, Kansas City, MO

Yeah, I’m sure his tweets would be soooo philosophic. If you really want to follow someone, follow me at @Gio2bKC or follow Willie Wilson at @wwbb6. To be honest, follow Willie before me. He’s a true legend and worth your support.

 

Chris, I have never been a fan of yours, and probably never will. You are a backup at best, and if it was not for Neddy Yost popping wood at the sight of you, you might not even have a Major League job. That being said, I think it’s cool you use the RBI Baseball theme for your walk-up music. #TeamGio-Sean, Emporia, KS

I like this guy. He gets it. I love RBI Baseball, too. It literally is the only cool thing about Getz.

 

Well, time to go, guys. I’d like to say it’s been great, but there is too much man-love on here for Getzie. I’m feeling nauseous. Besides I have to go check on Getz–I mean the person I have tied up in my basement. Later, losers.