Rubbing the Royals Genie Lamp

As the 2013 season looms closer everyday, we are getting closer and closer to finding out just what team we have with these Kansas City Royals, version 7.0(yes, Dayton, it’s year 7!). With that in mind, I have ten wishes I have for this Royals team and the season that is just around the corner.

Wish #1-Eric Hosmer and Mike Moustakas rebound from disappointing Sophomore seasons.

Big things were expected from Hos and Moose in 2012. Hosmer had a torrid spring, which had many thinking the sky is the limit(yes, even this guy!). Moose improved his defense last year and got off to a great start for the team. Unfortunately, by the end of the year these two pillars of the Royals youth movement were limping to the finish line-literally. Hosmer injured himself the last week of the season, while Moustakas was battling through a knee injury that bothered him most of the season. While Moose’s second half slump might be heavily connected to the knee injury, Hosmer’s seemed to be…well, it could be anything. Hosmer’s awful 2012 was a big part of why the Royals never really got going last year, and it seems a lot of 2013 hopes are pinned on him as well. If these two bounce back(which very seriously could happen), then Kansas City is one step closer to being the contender that management thinks they are this year.

Wish #2-Salvador Perez goes injury free.

Injuries really hurt the Royals last year. None was bigger than losing Salvador Perez for the first three months of 2012. Not only was Kansas City not prepared for Perez going down, they lost one of the most important players on this team. Perez has shown a knack for being a team leader, behind the plate and in the dugout. If I had to pick one guy to build this team around, it would be Salvy. Losing him for any amount of time will lessen the Royals chances of being a winning ballclub this year, and also hurt my prediction of him making his first All-Star game appearance in 2013.

Wish #3-Luke Hochevar FINALLY turns the corner.

I have spent a lot of words on why Luke Hochevar should no longer be a Royal. Too many, in fact. But the ugly truth we Royals fans deal with on a regular basis is that Kansas City management loves Hochevar(or at least his ‘stuff’) and still think he is thisclose to turning the corner and being a top of the line starter. This spring alone we have already heard that he should win ’15-18 games'(thanks, Ned and Dave) and that he figured out a flaw when throwing from the stretch. I personally have my doubts, but I really wish I was wrong. If I am wrong about Hoch, the Royals would have a number five starter who could be more than that. I have no problem being wrong if it means good things for the Royals. So if this wish came true, I would be okay with it. It would also give me a bit more faith in Dayton Moore and Ned Yost, as I have never had so little faith in Kansas City management ever. EVER.

Wish #4-Rex Hudler calms down.

I like that Rex Hudler is enthusiastic about the game. I like that he really wanted us Royals fans to like him right out of the gate. But we can tell when someone is trying too hard. Rex was not only trying too hard, he seemed to be a guy who went on a meth bender right before first pitch. As the season progressed, Hudler toned down his act, but at times he went back to ‘Beavis wired up on sugar and chanting about the great Cornholio’ Rex, and THAT Rex needs to go. Also, if he could get his facts right, that would be great. It’s not good when I am sitting at home shaking my head, going ‘No, Rex, that isn’t right’. Facts are facts. Anyway, a much calmer, serene Wonder Dog would be great for 2013. Dial it down, Dog.

Wish #5-A Second Baseman is finally crowned.

Have you ever really liked a girl(or boy) who no matter what you did you just couldn’t get them to give you chance? You would finally convince them to spend some time with you, hoping this was the time that they would finally see how great you were. But then that day would arrive and she would cancel to hang out with her friends-or some guy named Brad. Guys named Brad are normally douchebags. Just saying. Anyway, in the end you felt lead on while never really being given an honest shake at something that could be pretty good. That is the relationship that Johnny Giavotella has with the Royals. It is safe to say this is Johnny’s last chance with Kansas City, and already he looks like Brad is being given more face time. Ask most Royals fans, and they will tell you Chris Getz is going to win the second base job. Fine. Let it be. If that is the case, then it is time for the Royals to trade Gio. Work out a deal with Oakland and swap Gio for Jemile Weeks. Let him leave as a free agent. Hell, trade him to a Central division foe and watch him flourish. Either way, let’s have some finality to this. Leading Johnny on is just going to lead to hurt feelings. It’s time for him to move on and find a girl who also thinks Brad is a douche.

Wish #6-Fire Ned Yost.

This probably should be number one. I’ve wanted him fired since April of last year. Let’s make this short and sweet. Yost ISN’T the manager to take Kansas City to the promised land. If anything, he will end up hurting this team at an inopportune time. Ask any Brewers fan. It is just not meant to be. If the Royals are in the chase come September, do you want them to go down in flames down the stretch because Neddy(or Franky) can’t handle the pressure? Fire Yost. Now.

Wish #7-Alex Gordon goes back to leadoff.

In Alex Gordon’s breakout 2011 season, Gordon was put into the leadoff spot, and took off. For whatever reason, being put at the top of the order worked for Alex and looked to be the most comfortable he has been since his debut in the big league’s. Last season, Gordon was juggled around most of the season, but the last few months he was pushed down to third in the order. While he didn’t do bad there, he didn’t flourish like he did at leadoff. For the Royals to utilize their talent to the best of their ability, Gordon needs to be back at the top. Now, it looks as if A1 being back there is tied in with whether Hosmer finds his groove and moves back to third in the lineup. Even if Hos isn’t like Stella, the Royals need Gordon to leadoff. They can juggle the middle of the lineup, but leadoff just doesn’t have any options. A1 is your man.

Wish #8-Give Luis Mendoza a chance in the rotation.

I know, the Royals finally have a real starting rotation. Depth is included this year, which can only mean the Kung-Fu grip is next. But one pitcher who seems to be left out of the picture is a guy who was probably the best starter in the second half last year(other than maybe Jeremy Guthrie), Luis Mendoza. Mendoza followed up a surprising 2012 with a great showing in the Caribbean World Series this winter. After all this, and manager Ned Yost still sees him as a long reliever. I would not be surprised to see a few injuries hit the Royals rotation [*cough* Santana] and Mendoza slip in and weave his magic. I’m pretty sure it’s the hair. I think that’s the key to his success. No matter what, the Royals need to at least be open to the idea of him being in the rotation. It’s not always as simple as what you picture your players being. Sometimes performance does matter.

Wish #9-James Shields becomes an Ace.

Now, I know some people already consider him an ace. Sure, ‘Big Game James’ has shown over the years to have a propensity to throw a lot of innings while keeping the Rays in the game. I’m not saying he isn’t a top starter. What I am saying is he has always been a solid number two, which is not quite an ace. The Royals need Shields to go out there this year and show them that they did not make a mistake by giving away six years of Wil Myers for two years of Shields. The only way that really happens is for James to step up and lead the staff. He needs to stop losing streaks, pitch deep into the game and leave the game with a lead. If that happens, then there is a good chance the Royals have their ace. If runs add up and his ERA climbs, then you have a problem. From everything I’ve seen, Shields seems to have a bulldog mentality, which should help him. He wants to lead, which is good, as the Royals are giving him the keys to the car. No need to wreck it into Ned Yost’s Winnebago.

Wish #10-Alcides Escobar gets the respect he deserves.

During Alcides Escobar’s first season in Kansas City, he would routinely make dazzling play’s on a regular basis. It earned him the nickname ‘Shortstop Jesus’. What we have seen the past two seasons has been one of the top defensive shortstops in all of baseball, let alone one who upped his offensive game in 2012. Yet, you won’t see him on any list for one of the best shortstops in the game. He hasn’t even been a finalist for the Gold Glove the last two seasons, despite his continued great play. I really hope this is the season baseball finally takes notice of just what Escobar can do, as he has easily been one of the best shortstops ALREADY in Royals history. Sure, I’ve seen some of the fancy sabermetric stats that show Escobar to not QUITE being as good as we Royals fans think. But lets be honest here; sometimes we still have to use the eye test. If everyone else saw what we see on a nightly basis, we wouldn’t be talking about the lack of respect given to him. Instead we would be talking about him being one of the top ten shortstops in the game.

February 22, 2013 1

Questions with Getzie-Beginning of Spring Training Edition

Spring Training started this week, so it’s only appropriate to have Kansas City Royals Second Baseman, mistake-free Chris Getz, to once again answer you, the fans, questions. We’ll dip into the mailbag and find out how the Royals spring is going so far, in the words of one Chris Getz(or how I think he would answer). So time once again for Questions with Getzie!

Getzie, how do you think Luke Hochevar will do this year? Is this the year he finally turns the corner?-Rob, Liberty, MO

Wow, great question right out the gate! I always root for Hoch and think he is one good outing away from being the ace of the staff. Neddy and Davey, our pitching coach, both think he’ll win 15-18 games this year. All I know is those two are never wrong! If the ball gets hit to me during one of Hoch’s outings, I’ll do my gosh darn best to be as mistake free as I can.

Chris, the Royals acquired Elliot Johnson this week from the Rays. Are you worried that there is another player on the team who is as gritty as you?-Clint, Olathe, KS

Golly Gee, I love it! I firmly believe that no team can have too many players who are as gritty as we are. Neddy has told us countless times he would rather we play gritty than do things like get on base and work the count. Or hit the ball. Or keep a tight defense. Neddy loves him some players with dirt on their uniform, so he’ll love Johnsy!

Manager Ned Yost had mentioned that you had put on some muscle this offseason. Shoudl we expect your power numbers to go up this year?-Mike, Odessa, MO

Gosh, I hope so! I know my power numbers aren’t as good as Moose, or Billy, or Jarrod, but I’ve worked hard the last couple years to make myself better. My new stance last year got me a few more extra base hits. Hopefully this muscle can make it to where I hit the ball to the warning track! I think it’s just a matter of time until I show my true power potential. But bunting will always be my true love…

Chris, thanks for answering my question last time! Love your work. So here is my next question for you: How do I…I mean, a player, go about having Neddy notice that he hit over .300 in the minors and could actually be useful if given an actual chance to play? I’ll listen off air…-Johnny, Metairie, LA

Thanks for writing me again Johnny! Loved your question last time. Well, it’s pretty simple. Go out there, get your uniform dirty, get some sacrifice bunts on your stats, be mistake free, and smile all the time! Neddy notices stuff like that, and loves his players to smile on the field and look like they are having a blast, even if they are getting pummeled. I hope you keep writing me. You keep it up and maybe someday you’ll be a major league ballplayer!

Getzie! Love this mailbag. I have to know: Who would win in a fight; a bear or Frenchy?-Craig, Lawrence, KS

Holy cow!! That might be the toughest question I’ve ever gotten! Well, bears are pretty tough. I mean, you see what happens when they catch a fish in their mouth, right? But Frenchy…man, Frenchy might be the toughest person I have ever met. I heard he once turned a giant rock into dust with his bare hands. True Story. But if I had to pick someone to win, it would have to be Frenchy. That bear wouldn’t know what to do with his speed and that cannon-like arm! Awesome question!

Thanks a ton for answering my question last time, even if you were a little harsh with me. I mean, I know a lot about baseball. My co-worker’s are just kids. Well, except for Scott. Anyway, there is no way you don’t win the second base job this spring. You are without a doubt the best second bagger the Royals have had since Frank White!-Steve, Emporia, KS

Wait, is there a question there? Golly, I appreciate the support, but…just stop. Please. You are only making this worse. And embarassing yourself. Just say no. Please.

Looks like our time is up again, Getz-Heads! I look forward to talking to you all soon! Let’s go bunting!

February 15, 2013 0

2013 Predictions That Will Probably Be Wrong By June

Spring Training has started and before you know the 2013 baseball season will be underway. Spring might be the best time for most teams, as everyone is filled with hope and think their team could be THE team. Yes, even some Houston Astros fans. Or not. Hope springs eternal and Spring gives team eternal hope, even when they maybe should be more realistic. With the season only six weeks away, I will go ahead and try to guess how the season will unfold. Just remember when June rolls around to not point out my bad predictions(or bad guesses, however you want to word it) and realize that very few so called “experts” can predict what will happen. That’s part of what makes baseball so great. So without further ado, here are my division predictions for 2013.

AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST

1.Tampa Bay

2.Toronto

3. New York

4. Baltimore

5. Boston

This might be the hardest division to handicap. I literally could rotate most of these teams in any slot and wouldn’t really argue too much with the results. Tampa almost seems like the safe bet, since Joe Maddon and company always find a way to win and probably have the best rotation in the American League. I like what Toronto has done this offseason, especially with how their rotation will shape up. Dickey, Morrow, Buerhle, Johnson and Romero? If everyone stays healthy, that could be a lethal round of arms. The Blue Jays could also turn out like the Marlins did last year, so they might be interesting to follow. I hate putting the Yankees in third place, especially since they did nothing major this offseason and in fact lost talent, but they still have some good arms, and they are the Yankees. Unfortunately. Baltimore will slip, as no team can keep up the amount of luck this team had last year(especially in extra innings), but they still won’t be a bad team. Buck Showalter is too good of a manager for that. Boston is at the bottom of my list, but I do think they will be better than they were last year. Farrell will do fine in his first year in Beantown, but this team still doesn’t have the firepower they have had in the past. All in all, this division will be a fun one to watch, and might have the most depth of the bunch.

AMERICAN LEAGUE CENTRAL

1. Detroit

2. Cleveland

3. Chicago

4. Kansas City

5. Minnesota

This pains me more than you will ever know. Let’s start at the top, with the Tigers. Detroit won the Central late last year, after Chicago held the top start for a good chunk of 2012. Not only did the Tigers get to the World Series, they have IMPROVED since last year. Detroit now gets Anibal Sanchez for a full season, Victor Martinez returns from injury and they added Torii Hunter to the team, which will help them offensively, defensively and in the clubhouse. No reason to think the Motor City will be giving up the reigns on the division anytime soon. I’m going ahead and taking Cleveland second, although you should be able to flip flop them and Chicago in all honesty. I really like the moves that the Indians have made this offseason and the biggest acquisition has to be manager Terry Francona. Francona alone makes that team better in 2013 and when you add in Swisher, Bourn, Stubbs, and Bauer, and the offense looks tons better than they did last year. The real question with Cleveland will be their pitching and whether or not they can get Ubaldo Jimenez back to being the guy who made NL batters look dumb. Chicago ran out of gas late last year, but they have a lot of quality young arms and somehow GM Kenny Williams always makes it work. It’s easy to say they will fall a bit this year, but I wouldn’t be shocked if they don’t. I’ve got Kansas City sitting in fourth place and I will go into more detail obviously when the season gets closer. To shorten up my thoughts, the Royals have a lot of ‘ifs’ going into this year and they are counting on a lot of things that didn’t work in 2012 to work in 2013. That is really expecting some major changes, when not as much has changed with this team as they have people thinking. Just saying, you might want to hold off on purchasing those playoff tickets, my Royal Blue brethren. Minnesota takes up the bottom of the league, but I have to believe they will be better than they were last year. If the Twins play this year like they did last year, I think Ron Gardenhire might blow a gasket and up and quit before the season is over. A part of me is leery to count out the Twinkies. They are THAT team, the one who never truly goes away. Just ask the Royals about that. I know everyone thinks the Central is the worse division in baseball, and they might be right. But it is already way better than it was this time last year.

AMERICAN LEAGUE WEST

1. Los Angeles

2. Texas

3. Oakland

4. Seattle

5. Houston

Another good division, with a number of teams that could contend for a playoff spot. It is also a division with one extra team this year, as the Astros move over to the American League and join the West. Granted, they were kind of held at gunpoint to move and really didn’t want to, but they are there now and a number of NL Central teams are a lot sadder because of it. Let’s start at the top with the Angels. I’ve got them in first, and will freely admit that it is partially because they are my second favorite team. Year two of the Pujols Project should help the team way more than last year, and they’ve even added that Hamilton guy to take some of the load off of Albert’s back. Oh yeah, and there is that Trout guy as well. I’ve heard he’s pretty good. Texas is slotted in second, but they just as easily could get first. One wonders if their early exit out of the playoffs will motivate them or let it linger as the season begins. Even though the Rangers have lost some key players(Hamilton, Young, etc.) I love the young talent that is shooting up the pipeline for the Rangers and think they will be just as lethal as they were before. Oakland is in third, but it is hard to bet against Bob Melvin and company. This team has no stars, and yet had over 90 wins last year. They still have the good pitching that guided them to the playoffs last year and an offense that buys into what Melvin and Billy Beane are selling. If the team makes a push at the traded deadline they could once again win the West in 2013. The Mariners are booked for fourth place and I want to like this team more. I think they have a some really good young talent, but I totally don’t know what they are thinking with the offseason acquisitions. I mean, does the team really need 253 outfielders/first basemen/designated hitters? They do realize that those three areas only cover 5 spots in the order, right? It just doesn’t make much sense. Lastly, the Astros will take up the cellar of the West. This team is completely rebuilding, and as much as they should be credited for it, it will make for a very, very long season in Houston. Good luck, Astros fans. You are going to need it.

NATIONAL LEAGUE EAST

1. Washington

2. Atlanta

3. New York

4. Philadelphia

5. Miami

The top of this division will probably have a couple of the best teams in the league. They also might have a couple of the worst. Washington looks to once again see October baseball this year, as they have both Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper for a full season. This is just a really, really good team with lots of great talent and depth. Yes, depth will win you games, especially come postseason. Atlanta looks at a possible second place finish, although anyone who thinks they win the division might not be too far off. Great pitching, great offense, great defense and this team will probably be a wild card team when it is all said and done. The Upton boys will get a full season playing together and even with the loss of Chipper Jones might not slow down Atlanta as much as originally thought. I’ve got the Mets in third place, as this team seems on the verge of some really good seasons. It is a young bunch, but one with some great up and comers. I think they will be way better than anyone gives them credit for. Philadelphia takes up fourth place, and I am aware the team still has Halladay and Lee. But they also have a group of aging veterans(Utley, Rollins, Howard) and players who are bloated and overpaid(Delmon Young, Yuniesky Betancourt). Phillies fans, a lull is in your future. Embrace it. As much doom and gloom as the Phillies seem to be, the Marlins are in worse shape. Another rebuilding year. A rookie manager. A bunch of new, young faces. Don’t embrace this, Marlins fans. You deserve better.

NATIONAL LEAGUE CENTRAL

1. Cincinnati

2. St. Louis

3. Pittsburgh

4. Milwaukee

5. Chicago

The National League Central hosts one less team this year. Unfortunately for the other five teams, they won’t have the Astros to feast on anymore. Let’s start with the Reds, who sit atop the perch of this division. Dusty Baker’s team was right on the verge of getting to the NLCS this past fall, but those pesky Giants took that dream away from them. It was kind of San Francisco’s thing this past year. Back to the Reds. They are basically bringing back the same team, and with it probably the NL Central title. If I had to find something that worried me, it would be the switch of Aroldis Chapman to the rotation. I don’t get it, but we’ll see how it goes. The Cardinals will make it interesting for Cincy, but the loss of Chris Carpenter for the year could cause the Cards to go out and pick up another starter, although using someone like Shelby Miller might do just as good a job. I totally think this is the year Pittsburgh FINALLY gets a winning season, even if it is just a few games over .500. The baseball Gods have to be looking out for those faithful fans that have stuck by that team for so long. With Andrew McCutchen leading the charge, I see good things in the Pirates future. Milwaukee takes up fourth, as it seems the team just doesn’t have the pitching to keep it in the hunt. Rounding out the division is the Cubs. Now, I completely think Chicago will be better this year, especially with the great offseason they had acquiring pitching. But the team is still fairly young and will go through some growing pains. Stay strong, Cubs fans. Your time is coming soon.

NATIONAL LEAGUE WEST

1. San Francisco

2. Los Angeles

3. Arizona

4. San Diego

5. Colorado

What a hot mess this division could turn out to be? Almost any of the last four teams could collapse and make for a rough season for their ballclubs. Or they could go on a hot streak and give San Francisco a run for their money. The Giants are not only the defending World Champions, but with their team basically kept in tact, could be a favorite for another world title. Their pitching alone should have the other teams in their league worried. The Dodgers have the chance of giving their rivals a run for their money, but it could go the other way. A lot of money spent does not guarantee one a playoff spot. Ask the Red Sox about that. There is a part of me that can’t wait until Zack Greinke implodes in LA, but how soon that happens is anyone’s guess. There is a good chance it won’t be this year. The Dodgers could be interesting to follow, just to see how the team chemistry is in that clubhouse. Also in the conversation is Arizona, but they also had a major upheaval. The team got rid of their best player, and got rid of any players who don’t live by manager Kirk Gibson’s hard nosed style. This will either be a team who is fun to watch, or one that has to scrap to score runs. San Diego will get a reprieve again from last place, mainly because Bud Black is really good at his managing job. I hope the Padres are paying attention, since that guy deserves a more competitive team. Last once again looks like it will be Colorado. Some changes have been made, and one is curious to see how first year manager Walt Weiss does. I have to believe that if Troy Tulowitzki is healthy, this could be a much better team. But like all things in this game, that is a big if.

So there you go, my predictions for 2013. I’m sure I will be forced to eat my words within a few months and you’ll want to point out where I was wrong. You’re right; I should have just gone with a Cubs/Red Sox World Series! I’m sure Major League baseball and the Fox Network would just love that. Now….LET’S PLAY BALL!

February 13, 2013 0

Sure, Your Promotional Schedule is Okay, But…

Yep, I’m one of those fans. Every year when the baseball schedule comes out, I eagerly await the promotional schedule put out by the Kansas City Royals, and to a degree, base my going to the ballpark around it. There are exceptions, but if there is something I really want, I make sure to try and be at that game. Looking at the 2013 promotional schedule, I felt very underwhelmed. Sure, the Billy Butler bobblehead is a fantastic idea, and should have been done a long time ago. I always love when the A’s come to town and the Royals pay homage to the old Kansas City A’s. But looking past those items this year, the promotions are sorely lacking. Does any self respecting fan think they need a mustard, relish and ketchup bobblehead? They would just seem out of place on my shelf with Carlos Beltran and Joakim Soria. A cooler that looks like a gun case? A scarf on Mother’s Day? To save Royals management, I, free of charge, will give them some ideas for promotions. Granted, the schedule has already been made, but these can be used in the future. Or you can make your own. Whatever. I just came up with ideas. Here we go.

1) Mike Moustakas Powder Blue Dirt Shirt

You might be wondering what this even means. Well, as you can tell from the above picture, Mike “Moose” Moustakas is known for getting quite dirty while out on the field. To celebrate his likeness with Pigpen, the Royals could have a powder blue shirt for Moose with dirt on the shirt. Well, not REAL dirt, but it would look like dirt. The Royals did this a few years ago with a George Brett shirt, putting what looked like pine tar on a powder blue shirt. It looked like this:

Pretty cool, huh? Do this same kind of shirt with Moose, add some dirt, and the fans will flock. It also promotes one of your younger fan favorites, which they should be pushing more, in my opinion. If that doesn’t work, make a Moose stuffed animal that when you press its feet it makes the “Moooooooose” cheer you hear from the fans at the ballpark.

2)Anything with Bo Jackson

All these years later, and Bo Jackson is just as wildly popular in Kansas City as he was during his prime. Bo knows popularity. ESPN’s 30 for 30 on Bo was one of the most talked about in a long time and brought Bo back to the forefront of everyone’s mind. Jackson even made an appearance in Kansas City at the celebrity softball game during the All Star Game festivities this past year. So what better time to jump on the Bo bandwagon then now? Now, what you do with the promotion doesn’t matter. Bo sells himself. Bo knows variety. Bo bobblehead. Bo replica jersey. Bo camo hat(I think Bo would dig this). Bo cooler. Bo doggy outfit for Bark at the Park day. Make Bo show up to race mustard, ketchup, and relish(seriously, who thinks they can outrun Bo??). Bo knows condiments. You literally could do anything involving Bo Jackson, and it would be a winner. Jackson was one of the most popular players in Royals history, so it seems only fitting to somehow make him a promotion at some point. Safe to say I will be at the ballpark that day. Bo knows Sean still thinks he is great.

3) Negro League Video Night

One promotion that is always a plus for Kansas City is the night they honor the Negro Leagues. The players dress up in the old uniforms, and throughout the night they honor the old Negro League players. But with the Negro League Baseball Museum in Kansas City, they can take it a step further. Put together a video of the history of the Negro Leagues. Give it away to the first 5,000-10,000 fans that come to the ballpark. Make them realize not only how fascinating this era was but how great these players really were. This is a win/win, as the Royals get a great promotional night, while putting out some plugs for the museum. This should be a partnership that helps both sides and seems like a perfect match.

4) Girls Night Out Photo Night(AKA Quit being drunk ass idiots at the ballpark)

The Royals Girls Night Out is one of the team’s highest attended promotions. It is also one that I dread every year. Every year, a bunch of women flock to Kaufman Stadium for this yearly event and a large portion end up sloppy messes by the end of the night. Sure, who doesn’t love their women to be loud, abrasive and completely unaware of their surroundings? I’m sorry, but when I got to a ballgame, I want to sit back, enjoy the action and pay attention to what is happening on the field. On Girls Night Out, that isn’t possible. No, on Girls Night Out, I have to listen to these drunk women blather on about their pitiful lives and how men have done them wrong. Then, if you are sitting anywhere near them, you have to get up every 10-15 minutes to let them out so they can either go pee/get more drinks/find their other friends who can’t find them. I’m sorry your bladder is full, Cindy Jo, but can I please just watch the damn game? So my idea is to have a photo night about a month before Girls Night Out, handing out photos to all these women, showing them for the drunken messes they were the previous year. Sure, it probably won’t do any good. I mean, they will probably just find it funny and continue to make a horse’s ass out of themselves like they do every year. But maybe, just maybe–someone will realize how embarrassing it is and decide to stop after two beers instead of seven. I can only pray. I just want to watch the game. That is why we pay for a ticket, correct?

5) More Bobblehead Nights(of actual players, not condiments)

Anyone who knows me knows that I love bobbleheads. Baseball bobbleheads are even better. Over the years, the Royals bobbleheads have been fantastic, and if you take a second to hop on over to ebay, you find most of these there, granted for a hefty price(except for Larry Gura. Sorry, Larry!). The Billy Butler one this year looks great. But the condiments are an awful, awful idea. All these years of great Royals players, and they are bumped for the stuff I put on my hot dogs? It’s not hard, guys. Amos Otis doesn’t have a bobblehead. Great player back in the day, former All Star and a vital part of the championship Royals teams. Seems like a slam dunk. Hal McRae? Another good choice. I could literally go on forever. Mark Gubicza, Al Cowens, Kevin Seitzer, Jeff Montgomery, and Kevin Appier just to name a few of the players from the past. Hey, just look at the here and now. Alcides Escobar, Salvador Perez, a miniature Johnny Giavotella, or Bruce Chen. Sure, I don’t particularly like Jeff Francoeur, but if they had a bobblehead of him with an actual cannon for an arm, I would want it(thank you for leading me to that idea, Anna). It is so simple. It is also an easy way to get me to the ballpark. Let’s make a deal now, Royals promotion department; no condiments next year. Worst. Idea. Ever.

6) Disco Demolition Night

Maybe this time it will end different…

…and if not, can we destroy every existing copy of ‘Friends in Low Places’?

God, I hate that song. Make it go away. Forever.

So those are just a few ideas. I can only hope that for 2014, the Royals step up and give us promotions worth being proud of. If not, we will have our own Royals promotional night at my house. For a fee, of course. I’m not just giving away those Ned Yost shirts I have tucked away in my closet…

February 5, 2013 4

FLASHBACK: Fake Royals Predictions 2012

Author’s Note: The Flashback articles on here I originally wrote for the website royalsbaseball.net. That website has now become defunct, so I thought I would move them over here to Bleeding Royal Blue. I’d like to thank Joel Matheny for giving me the opportunity to write for his website, even if it was for just a few months. So enjoy, and go Royals!

With the 2012 Kansas City Royals season less than a week away, I normally take this time to put forth my predictions for the upcoming season. The thing is, I kind of have with a lot of my articles as of late. So, I thought it would be fun today to take a look at ‘Fake Predictions’ for this Royals ball club. These are all just jokes, and it’s supposed to be a fun way of looking forward to opening day. So enjoy, and please, try not to take this too seriously!

Ned Yost will decide mid-season to shake things up and make Jeff Foxworthy his new bench coach. When that doesn’t work, he will go on sabbatical…which is code for ‘spending his time fishing and hunting.’
Chris Getz’s new stance will pay dividends, as 3/4 of his hits this season will be extra base hits.

With Salvador Perez out with an injury, the team looks into cloning him. Unfortunately, the team sends in the wrong DNA, and instead the Royals get a clone of former Catcher Ellie Rodriguez.

After a few pitching injuries early in the season, GM Dayton Moore finds Kyle Davies in the backwoods of Georgia, and signs him to a minor league contract. He now wants to be known by his given name, Hiram.
With Royals infielder Yuniesky Betancourt having trouble with his range, the team buys him a segue-way to make it easier for him to get to grounders balls to the left and right of him.

After a slow start, Mike Moustakas will go on a tear. Even more interesting, Moustakas will end up stealing 30 bases, as he finds cutting his hair gives him extra speed.
Bruce Chen continues to frustrate White Sox managers, as the team’s new skipper Robin Ventura goes on a expletive laden tirade that would make Ozzie Guillen proud.

Johnny Giavotella will return to the ball club during the season, but when he shows up to the ballpark, he is told he isn’t ‘tall enough for the rides’.

Royals fans beg for the flames normally used for Joakim Soria’s entrance. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have the same affect when Everett Teaford enters the game.
Eric Hosmer has a superb season, enough so that he ends up as a spokesman for Loreal hair products.
Alcides Escobar is praised for his defense, but even more so when he makes a play near the third base line, throwing out the runner – Who happens to be Bengie Molina.

Rex Hudler will make most of the Royals fanbase mute their Tv’s and force them to listen to the radio while watching a Royals game.
Royals Owner David Glass will show up for two dozens game this season, instead of his usual dozen.

When Sluggger is forced to throw hot dogs instead of shooting them, the team finds out that he has a really good arm. Sluggger is then signed to a contract and sent to AAA Omaha.
Tim Collins develops a growth spurt and ends the year 5′ 10”.
Billy Butler gets off to a bad start. With the extra pressure on him, Billy Loses 20 lbs in a month.
Luis Mendoza continues his excellent pitching, winning close to 20 games and turning out to be the ace of the staff.
Royals fans everywhere are glad Kevin Kouzmanoff doesn’t make the team, as many were afraid they would have to either pronounce his last name or spell it. Instead they are stuck trying to figure out how to pronounce ‘Bourgeois’.
Mid-season, the team wants some new blood, so they go out before the deadline and acquire Miguel Olivo and Willie Bloomquist, saying they are ‘just want this team was missing’.
Hitting Coach Kevin Seitzer proves he is a man of magic, turning Yuniesky Betancourt and Humberto Quintero into walking machines, as the two are near the top of the league in walks.

Brayan Pena will be cut once Sal Perez comes back. Because he loves the team so much, he will stay and take over Sluggger’s job.
Jose Mijares will realize a game moves faster when he doesn’t step off it after every pitch, and becomes what baseball experts call a ‘fast worker’.

Jonathan Broxton will arrange a contest to see if he can get 3 of his teammates to wear his pants all at once.
Mitch Maier starts more than once a month this season.

Jeff Francoeur will prove how fan friendly he is, as he will spend half an inning hanging in the ‘French Quarter’.
Sean O’Sullivan will pitch so good that I will quit calling him by the nickname I gave him.
A fan won’t wear a $200 All-Star game jersey to a game and still not know the basics of baseball.
The first place Royals fans will flock to read incite on the team will be in the comments section of Facebook.

and finally, I will root for relish this year for the first team in the classic Mustard, Ketchup and Relish race.

Enjoy the 2012 Royals season everyone! Now let’s talk some baseball!

February 1, 2013 0

FLASHBACK: The Curse of Buddy Biancalana

Many a Major League baseball team have that one position they are constantly looking to upgrade. For whatever reason, they can’t seem to find stability and are stuck every few years finding someone else to take over that spot and hope they finally have found that player who will be there for years to come. Over the years, The Royals have gone through countless players at Shortstop and none ever seem to stick. Why exactly is shortstop a black hole for Kansas City?

It wasn’t always like that. Back in the offseason of 1970, the Royals acquired a little known Shortstop by the name of Fred Patek from the Pittsburgh Pirates. Patek was not the tallest man alive(5’5″, some even say 5’4″)but Patek was like a hoover on the field. Patek was a three time All-Star with Kansas City and even finished sixth in the MVP voting back in 1971. Patek would end up being a vital cog for the Royals as they made 3 playoff appearances in the mid-to late 70’s. Former Royals manager and Hall of Famer Whitey Herzog once said about Patek that he was “the best artificial turf shortstop he ever managed”, ranking him even higher than Ozzie Smith. Patek would leave the Royals at the end of the 1979 season, signing with the California Angels. Alas, him leaving began the Royals carousel of revolving Shortstops.

Patek’s leaving left the spot open, and in slid UL Washington. Washington had been with Kansas City for a few years as a backup infielder and was going to finally get a chance to show what he could do. Washington had great speed, and was yet another success of the Royals Baseball Academy, a program that also netted them Frank White. Washington was above the league average in batting those first few years, and combined solid defense with excellent baserunning to give the Royals another weapon in their lineup. Washington had a career year in 1982 after coming back from injury, and it looked as if the Royals had their Shortstop for the near future. In 1983 UL slumped badly and injuries ruined his 1984 season, as Onix Concepcion had made his way into the lineup. After the 1984 season, Washington was dealt to the Montreal Expos.

Concepcion took over the job in 1984, and was the starter for most of 1985. Not happy with his play, Royals manager Dick Howser replaced him with rookie Buddy Biancalana, and Biancalana would finish not only the season as the starter, but would start all 14 playoff games for KC that season. Biancalana was inserted in the lineup more for his defense, but his offense in the playoffs was a big boost for the ballclub. His funny name even brought mentions on the David Letterman show, and eventually an appearance on Late Night. Buddy would come back to reality in 1986, hitting .242 in 100 games, although providing solid defense. By 1987 the Royals had traded Biancalana to the Astros and was out of the big leagues by the end of the next season.

Now, I joke about the curse of Royals Shortstops being on Biancalana’s head. Whether it was bad judgement or just plain bad luck, the Royals would continue to go through Shortstops throughout the next decade. The player that seemed to have the best shot of longevity for the Royals was one Kurt Stillwell. Stillwell was acquired from the Reds after the 1987 season, as the Royals parted way with lefthander Danny Jackson. The Reds had a logjam at Shortstop, as another youngster was ready for the bigs at the point. Some guy named Barry Larkin…ever heard of him? So Stillwell became the starter at Short and after injuries hit a few All-Stars, was an American League All-Star in 1988. Stillwell showed flashes of greatness at Shortstop, and would have streaks at the plate where it seemed he was really starting to advance, only to have equally as down periods. 1990 seemed to start off as Stillwell’s coming out party, hitting .386 in April and was still over .300
in June. Unfortunately, injuries hampered him the rest of the year and could only hit .205. In 1991, Kurt would get off to another hot start, but by Independence Day he was mired in another slump and manager Hal McRae ended up benching Stillwell. Kurt was not very fond of his new manager, and after the season wrapped up, Stillwell, still only 26 at this point, packed up and headed to San Diego. Later Kurt would say his relationship with McRae, or lack of one, sent him on his way, and alas another Shortstop for the Royals was out the door after only 4 years.

Over the next few years, a number of players tried to solidify the position, only to leave earlier than expected. Greg Gagne, Jose Offerman, Jay Bell and Rey Sanchez are just a few of the players who occupied the position. Most were solid players, but none were long term solutions.

That seemed to all change in 2003. Rookie Angel Berroa was handed the Shortstop job and seemed to be the future of this organization. Berroa had a rocky start to the season, but by years end his defense seemed to get better and his hitting had more than improved. Berroa hit .287 that season with 17 Homeruns, 73 RBI, and 21 stolen bases. Berroa would win the American League Rookie of the Year Award, being only the fourth Royal to accomplish such a feat. Things went downhill from there on. Season by season, Berroa seemed to regress more and more, especially defensively, as his error rate was the highest in the Majors during that period. Angel also seemed lost at the plate, not seeming to have any real gameplan and flailing at pitches out of the strike zone. Finally in 2007, the Royals acquired Tony Pena Jr. from Atlanta, and Berroa was sent to the minor leagues. Outside of nine games that season, Berroa spent the rest of his time in AAA Omaha. 2008
started the same way and on June 6th was traded to the Dodgers.

Pena wasn’t the answer here either. As much as Pena was a good fielder, he couldn’t hit worth a lick. By mid-2008, Pena was out and in stepped Mike Aviles. Aviles was finally getting his shot in the Bigs, and he took advantage of it. Aviles ended the season hitting .325 in 102 games, with 10 home runs and 51 RBI’s. Aviles’ season was so good that the Royals named him their 2008 Player of the Year. Aviles, unfortunately, would suffer an arm injury playing winter ball, and be forced to miss most of the 2009 season due to Tommy John surgery. Whatever it was that Aviles had in 2008, he never seemed to catch it again. Aviles split 2010 between Omaha and the Majors, but mainly as a backup. Mike started the 2011 season at Third Base for KC but never got going and was traded to Boston at the end of July. I was always an Aviles fan and really hoped that he would end up breaking the curse. Unfortunately, Mike Aviles was not meant to be that guy.

When it became apparent in 2009 that Aviles would be gone for the foreseeable future, the Royals acquired Yuniesky Betancourt from the Seattle Mariners. Betancourt went from being one of the better defensive Shortstop’s in the game early in his career to a plodding Shortstop with no range by the time he appeared in Kansas City. Betancourt brought a little pop in his bat as well, and to be honest, at the time it wasn’t like there was a better option for the team either on the roster or in the minors. In 2009, he had the lowest on base percentage of any starter in the major leagues, at .274, and the lowest slugging percentage in the American League with .351. His numbers did improve in 2010, but he still was a liability on both defense and offense. Yuni obviously wasn’t the long term answer.

In the winter of 2010, the Royals would acquire their current Shortstop, trading Ace pitcher Zack Greinke and Yuniesky Betancourt to the Milwaukee Brewers for Alcides Escobar and three youngsters. Escobar showed last season why he was a good commodity, flashing great defense at Shortstop. After the Berroa/Betancourt years, it was good to see a Shortstop with a great glove. Escobar even earned the nickname “Shortstop Jesus” by Royals fans. Escobar struggled with the bat, although he seemed to hit better as the season went on. By the time it was all said and done, Escobar hit .254 for the Royals, and some experts predict he could hit as high .269 this upcoming season.His defense though, is why he is in the starting lineup. Any offense is just an addition to his amazing play on the diamond.

So is Escobar the one to break the curse? Time will only tell, but if Alcides can hit even in the .260 range, he seems like a good fit for the position for many a year. He was a .300 hitter in the minors, so it is possible. One thing is for certain; luck has not been on the Royals side when finding a Shortstop all these years. For them to break the curse, they need both good judgement and good luck…and maybe a guy who stands only 5’5″. Hey, it worked before!

February 1, 2013 0

FLASHBACK: The Return of Zack

2012 is a very pivotal year for the Kansas City Royals, especially for those of us that have been following “the process”. This is the year in which we find out whether or not all the time and money that has been put in developing the new crop of Royals will pay off or not. Now, that is not to say Kansas City is playoff bound(although it could be interesting in the lackluster American League Central), but we should know by the end of the season just how close the team is to contending. Predictions have always been that 2012 we would start to see improvement, and be on the brink of contending, with 2013 as the possible arrival date. If all goes as planned, the Royals might be a team just in need of a solid #1 starter, one guy who can dominate every fifth day when he takes the mound. Is that guy Zack Greinke?

Now, I probably just threw out a no-no. How dare I mention Judas! Look, I’m with all of you; if anyone was not happy with Zack’s attitude when he left, it was me. I’m a huge proponent of locker room chemistry and what a solid character guy(like Jeff Franceour) or a cancer(see Guillen, Jose) can do and what it means to a winning team. By the end of his tenure in Kansas City, Greinke had become a cancer in that locker room, a less than solid influence for the younger players to look up to. It showed in his pitching, as he looked uninterested in taking the mound for the Royals. He went from a one of a kind year in 2009, one that very few pitchers ever experience, to a year of mediocrity. As Royals fans, we understand his frustration in the team continuing to lose. Look, I’ve been a fan since 1984, and the last 15 years has taken it’s toll on me. But at the end of the day, I still bleed Royal blue, through and through. Why couldn’t Zack see the future was coming?

The part of the whole deal that killed me is the team stuck with him through his issues and let him come back at his own pace. They didn’t rush him, letting him play in the minors with no pressure and learn what he loved about the game in the first place. So to have him then turn around and want to leave when things were tough really left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. After years of awful pitching, the Royals had a guy they could put up there with Leonard, Splittorff, Saberhagen, Cone and Appier.

Just like that, he was gone. Now, most of us will agree that the return for Zack softened the blow. This year we’ll get to see just how good Lorenzo Cain, and Shortstop Jesus has made the trade of Greinke seem like a great move. Soon, we’ll get to see Jake Odorizzi who has been compared to Greinke in alot of circles. Trading Zack helped make “the process” seem even more plausible. But what if at the end of this year there is still that one piece of the puzzle to acquire?

Every team that yearns to reach the World Series knows they need a good #1 starter if they have any chance of making it deep into the playoffs. Detroit has one in Justin Verlander, a guy who can go out every fifth day and pretty much guarantee his team a ‘W’. That is what the Royals will eventually need if they are serious. As much as we might hope he is Danny Duffy or Mike Montgomery or even Jake Odorizzi, know of those guys will be in a position to fill that slot to start off 2013. Zack Greinke will be a free agent after this season and when his head is on straight, he is a number one guy.

So should the Royals go after the guy who spurned them just one year ago? I think it should at least be looked into. Greinke will never survive in a major market like New York or Boston. Philadelphia would eat him for lunch. His best bet is to stay in a smaller market where the scrutiny won’t be so harsh. He is familiar with Kansas City and already knows what to expect from management. He would have to mend some fences, and prove to some people that he isn’t going to bail out at the next sign of trouble, but it could be done. The Royals should at least invest into the thought of whether or not he could help return them to the playoffs. It might be a smarter move than originally expected.

February 1, 2013 0

Month: February 2013

Rubbing the Royals Genie Lamp

Questions with Getzie-Beginning of Spring Training Edition

2013 Predictions That Will Probably Be Wrong By June

Sure, Your Promotional Schedule is Okay, But…

FLASHBACK: Fake Royals Predictions 2012

FLASHBACK: The Curse of Buddy Biancalana

FLASHBACK: The Return of Zack

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