Fake Royals Predictions 2013

Minnesota Twins v Kansas City Royals

With the Royals just a few days away from kicking off this 2013 campaign, I thought it would be good to throw out some predictions. But I did have this. Then I went really in-depth with this here. So it appeared I needed to travel down a different road. So here are your 2013 Royals fake predictions. We did this last year (which you can check out here) and they were wildly popular. These are all jokes, so please don’t take any of this too seriously. They are just meant as amusement as we get ready to kick off the new season. So without further ado, here are your ‘Fake Royals Predictions’!

BB

Royals fans will flock to the K for the Billy Butler bobblehead night. Some unnamed fan will ruin it for everyone though, by claiming it should be called the ‘Country Breakfast’ bobblehead. Let it go, Scott!

Chris Getz will come close to actually hitting a ball out of the park, but alas it will be caught on the warning track. We will tell our kids about this for years to come, but they won’t believe Getzie was ever able to hit the ball that far.

esky

Alcides Escobar will continue to play excellent defense and not get the respect he truly deserves. Maybe he should hit more homers.

James Shields and Wade Davis will call their former manager Joe Maddon just to hear his voice.

Moooooooose

Mike Moustakas will receive a new nickname: Pigpen. Unfortunately, it isn’t as easy to chant as ‘MOOOOOOOOSE’!

Rex Hudler, to gain more attention, will spend the year attacking other condiment bottles, like ketchup and barbecue sauce. Ryan Lefebvre will feel like he is at a Gallagher concert and start carrying around a parka, goggles and galoshes.

johnny-g

Johnny Giavotella will quit baseball halfway through the season and be a star for the Keebler Elves.

Jeff Francoeur will never find his swing(is it in Albuquerque?) and will be on the bench by June. Dayton Moore will created a new title for Frenchy: Dayton’s BFF.

Myers

Wil Myers will be called up to the majors by Tampa Bay on May 1st. He will play in his first major league game that night at Kauffman Stadium, and proceed to hit his first major league home run, off the Royals Hall of Fame. Royals fans everywhere will cry.

Also, Dayton Moore will think the Royals are rightthere  right before the trade deadline, feeling they just need a backup infielder with some pop. He will make a trade with Milwaukee…and re-acquire Yuniesky Betancourt for a third time!

Luke Hochevar

Luke Hochevar will do a good job for the Royals out of the bullpen. But in June, Kansas City will need a starter to fill in, and decide Hoch has proven he can be a starter again. It will be disastrous, yet they will let him make four more starts before sending him back to the bullpen. Manager Ned Yost will say “but he almost turned the corner.”

Speaking of Yost, with the team within striking distance come September, he will go back to his old ways and over-manage while the team is making a play for the wild card. When asked why he was making the decisions that he did, he’ll say “but I thought bunting was always the answer!”

Tim+Collins+Kansas+City+Royals+v+Detroit+Tigers+5xejvREvUsnl

Tim Collins will all of a sudden have a growth spurt this season, and by the end of the year he will have grown to 6 feet tall. He will also think he is back in High School and start wearing his letter jacket everywhere.

Kelvin Herrera will throw a ball so hard this year that it will break Salvador Perez’s hand and put him out of action.

GK

Royals fans and announcers will spend most of the season trying to figure out how to pronounce the name of backup catcher George Kottaras(go ahead, I know you are trying to right now!).

Ned Yost will want Jarrod Dyson to hit the ball more on the ground and less in the air to utilize his speed. So everytime Dyson pops the ball up during the game, he’ll drop down at the plate and do pushups, ala Willie Mays Hayes. Yosty will think that is good strategy, since it worked in the movies.

salvy

Salvador Perez will remind us more and more of Vladimir Guerrero at the plate, including covering his helmet and bat in pine tar and swinging at anything and everything. He will still hit for a good average. Jeff Francoeur will be jealous. George Brett will be proud.

Eric Hosmer will come around and start hitting like the Hos of old. That is until he goes M.I.A. for a few weeks. Eventually we will find out that a slew of women had kidnapped him and made him their love slave. Hosmer will be sad to leave them and return to the Royals.

Jeff+Francoeur+Chris+Getz+C2C1NOIkYHSm

and in Dayton Moore’s greatest move ever, he will be able to trade both Jeff Francoeur and Chris Getz in the same deal. Who would be the GM wanting to pick these two up? None other than Diamondbacks GM Kevin Towers. His team will be making a playoff run and manager Kirk Gibson will tell him he needs “more GRIT”.

That is your 2013 Royals fake predictions. Enjoy the season everyone, and let’s hope there are playoff games in our near future!

 

Just When You Think the Market is Cornered on GRIT…

getzgordonFor the past two years, the brass of the Kansas City Royals have put a heavy emphasis on having gritty, hard-nosed players take up space on their roster. Manager Neddy(Frank) Yost and GM Dayton Moore seem to have a bromance with these players, almost to a laughable degree. But just when you think Kansas City is the only franchise who would rather have a player who gets his uniform dirty than having actual real talent, along come the Arizona Diamondbacks.

JUPThis past week, Arizona pieced together a massive deal to send star Outfielder Justin Upton to Atlanta, reuniting him with brother BJ. Arizona had discussed trading Upton for awhile now, which perplexed a lot of people within the game. Upton is only 25 years old and has an amazing amount of upside. Just two years ago, he put together a breakout season, hitting over 30 homeruns, an OBP of .369 and an OPS close to .900. Add in him cutting down his strikeout totals and seemed that Justin was starting to put the numbers up that Arizona expected when they drafted him back in 2005. But even as early as last offseason, the Diamondbacks were trying to deal him. Upton stumbled in 2012, and it just added fuel to the trade rumor flames. So why would Arizona want to trade one of the most talented younger players in the game? One word could probably sum this up: GRIT.

kirk-gibsonArizona manager Kirk Gibson was known for a variety of intangibles during his playing career. Maybe more than anything he is remembered for his hard-nosed, in the dirt type play and his win at no cost attitude. Right now you are probably picturing his walk off homerun in Game One of the 1988 World Series, limping around the bases and moving slower than former manager Tommy Lasorda. Gibson played the game like his hair was on fire, a model of the “take no prisoners” style of baseball. So it only makes sense that Gibby would prefer players that play the game the way he used to. There has been a thought that Arizona had a surplus of players that didn’t fit that mold. Chris Young was jettisoned early this offseason, shipped to Oakland. Stephen Drew: gone. Prospect Trevor Bauer was the most shocking trade this offseason, headed to Cleveland. Upton was thought to not fit the mold that Gibson wanted, as some within the organization felt he didn’t want to get his uniform dirty. Sure, Upton would spend extra time in the batting cage when struggling, trying to fix issues he was encountering last year. It’s not like JUp didn’t show a willingness to improve. He just wasn’t Kirk Gibson.

codyrossThis brings up a bigger question, and one that will show whether or not Arizona GM Kevin Towers and Gibson are correct. Which is more important, an all-out balls to the wall attitude or actual talent? In some ways, I am torn on this subject. I will admit I enjoy watching the players who dirty up their uniform and play the game like there is no tomorrow. But most of the time actual talent trumps a player who gives 200% out on the diamond. Sure, Gibson was a player who played the game with a lot of GRIT. But he also had talent. Same for Pete Rose. Now, let’s not act like the Diamondbacks didn’t get any talent in return for Upton. Prado is a former All-Star, and Randall Delgado is a top of the line future starter. The Snakes have also added some quality guys this offseason, as there is no reason to sneeze at guys like Cody Ross and Eric Chavez, along with the prospects they have picked up. The argument is that Justin Upton isn’t just a future star. Upton very well could be a future MVP and a guy to build your team around. Instead, Arizona has valued a mindset over tools.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v Kansas City RoyalsArizona isn’t alone in this thinking. Over the past couple years, the Royals have gone out of their way to acquire players they think(and sometimes very heavy emphasis on the ‘think’ part)are hard-nosed, gritty players. The difference is that while the Diamondbacks have Prado and Ross, the Royals get Chris Getz and Jeff Francoeur. That is the difference between a team that can realistically make a go of the playoffs, and a team on the outside looking in. It is NOT the worst thing in the world to have players with those intangibles. It is bad when you don’t realize that talent will get you farther than the guy hitting .235 but gets his uniform dirty every game. I guess that begs the question: which would you rather have, Justin Upton, a guy who could be a future MVP, or Jeff Francoeur, someone who won’t even be an All-Star, but is a good character clubhouse guy(and someone who will deliver pizza to your fans)?

celebrate2013 will show whether Arizona was correct to build their ballclub around “Gibby Ball’ or they will have the proverbial pie in the face from traded talent like Bauer and Upton. Hey, it might work. If there was ever a guy I would trust to will a team to the playoffs, it’s Gibson. Talent is still there in Arizona, just no one player who can be the focus of the team. if it doesn’t work, Kirk Gibson’s head could be on the chopping block. If they feel like they aren’t quite there, Kevin Towers could always call the Royals. I’m sure Getz and Francoeur could be had for the right price.

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